Dynasty Cafeteria

What did we do last week? Not much, we just built a restaurant. You know, then we drank some beer and thought a little harder about what would be cool to eat while we were drinking it. Typically, salty stuff, carby stuff, baked stuff, cheap stuff, deep fried stuff, fresh fruit. You know what sucks? Paying a lot of money for food that tastes like crap. You know what rules? Getting really good food that tastes like nothing you’ve ever had for not that much money.

We just opened up a micro-restaurant inside 285 Kent Ave, home of a new music venue, art space, Babycastles arcade, and also, it’s in the old “Paris London West Nile” space. We pretty much serve the best snacks. It’s dirt cheap, why even bother eating at home, you can eat here everyday, and probably save money, you know what I mean?

Here’s a taste of what our menu looks like:

Grape Kool-Aid Fritters $3

Waffle Grilled Cheese $3

Pizza Waffle Sandwich $4 or $5 w/pepperoni

Black Bean and Queso Muffins $2

BBQ Tofu Summer Rolls $2 or 3/$5

Spicy Boiled Peanuts $3

Lime Coconut Bars $2

Fat Watermelon Slice $1

Fruit Flavored Ice Pops 2/$1

We add new stuff almost everyday, so no one gets bored.

AND we open DAILY 8PM-1AM!!!!!! Who knows how long we can keep this up for!

On Heritage Radio

Hear me BURP on the radio and talk about new recession proof cooking concepts:

Thank you Roberta’s for all the free pizza. I look forward to letting it harden, cutting it up into small pieces, re-toasting it, topping it with more cheese and sour cream, and serving it to my guests as a nacho platter.

http://www.heritageradionetwork.com/episodes/1650-U-Look-Hungry-Episode-1-Thu-Tran

The Fransk – a new kind of fusion

On an excursion to the world’s oldest amusement park, Bakken, which is just outside of Copenhagen in Denmark, we were stimulated by many things, namely the French-Scandinavian cuisine! We had been hearing about the French-inspired take on the famous Danish pølser – a boiled hot dog, usually served with remoulade, a sweet mustard or ketchup, fried onions, and a bun. This new kind of food-fusion was available on nearly every street corner, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to indulge.

Jess was attracted to the giant ice cream cone, but Ben couldn’t be stopped by the sweet smell coming from the Grill.

 

But what should we choose?

 

So many choices!! Boiled? Grilled? Bun or no bun? Toppings? or … what’s this? a BAGUETTE?!?!?!

 

Could the choice be any clearer?

 

Displaying the Fransk proudly

 

EXTREME CLOSE UP! Look how the dog is surrounded by baguette!

 

How do you say “unique” in French?

DORITO CORN BREAD

I think I created a new style of cooking I like to call “Food, The Sequel” or more simply as “Recycling Food”. Let me explain what it is by telling you a true story. This story is dramatized for dramatic effect.

A while ago, I walked to the corner store to buy a big bag of nacho cheese Doritos. I wound up buying TWO bags, because my eyes are bigger than my stomach. Like BIG bags. I was all by myself too, so this was all for me. I come home and I eat one whole bag in one sitting. That’s about 900 Doritos chips. Now I’m sick of Doritos for a little while. The following day, the other bag I got and didn’t eat is staring at me. EAT ME it says. I think to myself, “I cannot eat another Dorito, but I cannot stand to look at this bag while it’s staring at me.”

Now my mind is reeling, “I can just make you into something else….” again, thinking to myself, and “you” being the Dorito bag. I reached an epiphany to turn the Doritos into Dorito cornbread, where instead of using cornmeal, I used crushed up Doritos.

The Dorito bag is quivering now because it’s scared, and rightly so. I opened up the bag, dumped its entire contents into a large bowl, and proceeded to crunch the chips into the finest possible cornmeal with my bare fists. In my clenched hands they all crumbled, and their cries sounded like dry autumn leaves under your feet. It was still pretty chippy, but I did my best. I carefully licked my hands clean afterward, because I realized I had an entire Dorito bag’s worth of cheese powder crusted on. This was satisfying.

I adapted a tried and true skillet cornbread recipe and replaced most of the cornmeal for A LOT of Doritos. The results were a deliciously recontextualized bag of Doritos. Imagine eating a Dorito, and never crunching, because the texture is just soft bread. Weird, right?

So the term, “Food, The Sequel”, applies to any scenario where the food you eat comes back, bigger and better than ever!

DORITO CORNBREAD
-1 big $3 sized bag of Doritos (any flavor you desire) (crushed as finely as possible)
-1/3 cup cornmeal
-1 8oz can creamed corn
-1 egg
-1/4 cup veg oil
-2 TB butter

Preheat oven to 400 F. Mixed the crushed up Doritos, cornmeal, egg, creamed corn, and oil together in a big bowl. The batter might seem a little runny. Let that sit for about 10 minutes so some of the liquid pre-soaks into the chips.

Melt the butter in a cast iron skillet on medium high until the butter smells a little toasty and awesome. Dump the batter into the skillet and fry until the edges look a little brown. Finish it off in the oven for about 10 minutes. Eat it while it’s hot!