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So the other night I watched this frightening triple feature brought to you by the same dudes who bring you the crazydavetape!
Basically what this is two bootleg MJ specials- Captain EO and a Thriller making of featurette….plus a Brazilian porno starring a MJ look-alike!
What better treat to eat with this, than A Curry Tuna Pie! And for the occasion, I decided to make myself a delicious exception to my moratorium on pussy jokes. This is actually a jazzed up version of one of my favorite mom-based recipes. My mom used to make something called “tuna ladder loaf” which is basically a tuna salad wrapped in croissant dough, which is a actually a DIY tuna hot-pocket. However for this one I, made it in the round, like a tasty 45′ and added curry and miracle whip. Then I topped it off with some cherry tomatoes Zena picked on the way home. And TAA DAA!
hi eggverybody its Egglias the W-eggst Coast Corr-egg-spondent to FoodParty.egg. (PS wouldnt that be sweet if there was a .egg extension? think about it)
Ok everyone I wasnt lying when I said one of the main purposes of me wasting time sitting at my desk at work writing for this nasty blog was to expose the world to the sunday comic strip EGGERS®! Its this really fucked up comic strip that some undoubtedly fat and egg shaped lady in florida runs, where lil half wit kids and sometimes even homosexual teenagers/eggers from the Seattle area send in a drawing of an EGG PUN. Now if youre wondering wtf I am talking about, check out the last w-egg-ks Eggers Com-egg strip:
ok – this is sweet in so many ways. Go smoke some weed and come back and check it out with me, ok? Chick -Egg Pox! This is surely a wise and just selection for the Pick of The Week . First of all, the drawing totally looks like the egg version a herpes virus zoomed into at +1000000000%. PLUS you are adding an ironic element making a egg pun out of the word Chicken. Which came first MUTHAFUCKA?????? great work, Erin Steiner, Age 7, Seattle. I will let other eggs comment on their fave Artist of Egg-Streme Merit below. More to come N-Egg-xt Week!
so this past weekend i was in spring lake, new jersey enjoying a little getaway with some friends when i was introduced to this:
this ladies and germs, is the pork roll. if you arent familiar with it, the pork roll, or “taylor ham” as it commonly referred to as (much like how everyone calls tissues “kleenex”), is a salty pork product that apparently is only popular and available in new jersey, though i dont see why because its pretty damned good.
don’t let the name “taylor ham” fool you though, because this product is what it is: a pork roll. its mushed up pig parts spiced up and put in a casing and sold either in logs that look like liverwurst, or presliced packages (4 or 8 slices) sold in the awesome packaging i posted up top. new jersey natives had a hard time decsribing it to those of us who had never had it, saying the best comparable meat was canadian bacon, though i feel thats only because its sort of round and salty. and honestly, that would be my best decription of it: round and salty. its not as salty as bacon however, but not as bland as say, bologna, and it has a distinct flavor that i just can put my finger on.
customarily, pork roll is fried and served on a roll with egg and cheese creating one of the better breakfast sandwiches ive had in a long time. the picture on the box shows it being served on an english muffin, and apparently some schools feed it to their kids:
so of course before i left, i made it a point to buy two boxes so that i may enjoy it at home and enjoy it i did. taking a cue from the box, i bought some english muffins, eggs, and white american cheese and tried my hand at making some “THEC” (“Taylor Ham Egg and Cheese”), which topped off with some hot sauce, made for one fine sunday brunch.
so next time you’re in new jersey, make sure you stop at a deli and order a pork roll sandwich, and be prepared to add a new member to your pork family.
pork roll/taylor ham: 15 thumbs up.
for further pork roll reading:
- www.jerseyporkroll.com
- pork roll on wikipedia
I went to the Plainsman Museum in Aurora, Nebraska on Sunday to check out the Ethnic Food Festival and to also to check out the museum. I was hoping to be enlightened by the different varieties of food they might have from what doesn’t seem like a ethnically diverse region of the country. If anything, I was just curious, expectations aside.
Here is what they had to offer:
Salad Dressing Coffee Cake
Hot German Potato Salad
Swedish Potato Bologna
A German Cold Soup
Scottish Carrot Cake
Irish Mashed Potatoes with Cabbage
French Dessert
Mexican Chile Verde
Swedish Meatballs
Fried Rice from Laos
German Sausage
Frikadeller-Danish Meatballs
German Peppernuts
Chocolate
The Laotion lady serving the fried rice was really funny. She saw me eyeing her fried rice (sorry to say, this was a very boring dish, lady) and was all like, “I know YOU want some fried rice.”
And I was like, “Hell yeah!” (to be polite.) She seemed really excited to see an Asian.
The highlight of the “festival” (this took place in the front room of the museum, fluorescent lighting and all), was actually the SALAD DRESSING COFFEE CAKE.
Here is the recipe. The chef of this recipe was nice enough to write it on a poster and taped it behind her table:
Here she is:
I would make this cake at home. (This is a big deal.) It was wonderfully moist (Miracle Whip), and had good deep chocolate flavor (brought out by the cold coffee). The only thing I would change is to use real mayonnaise instead of the Miracle Whip, cut about a third of the sugar out, use espresso instead of coffee, and use dark chocolate instead of cocoa powder. That would make it more boojy and luxurious. The mayo element negates having to use eggs and oil, and gave it a real creamy “melt in you mouth” element. This cake was seriously moist. Try it!
When I go into a diner that looks like a “50’s style” diner, I’m always in terror that some waiter is going jump up on a counter and sing “Love Shack” to amuse me. Then I’ll point out that “Love Shack” isn’t a song from the fifties, and why do we have this romanticized version of the fifties is our minds, what with the segregation, the objectification of women, terrifying cold war, etc, etc. Yes, I’m a barrelful of lighthearted laughter at Johnny Rockets!
Luckily for anyone who is forced to eat with me, the Bel Aire Diner only looks fifties-ish from the outside. Plopped on the corner of Broadway and 21st Street, it has the chrome-everything appearance of a mobile home.
I got there on 3pm on a Sunday afternoon, which means it’s time for breakfast food. (You don’t go ordering shrimp kabobs or lentil soup on a Sunday afternoon, Commie!) It’s busy. Super busy, even on an off time. This place has apparently been voted “best diner” in Queens for the last 100-plus years, and they’re in no danger of going out of business. I sit at the counter (I don’t mind eating solo), and order the Irish breakfast. I’ve ordered “Irish Breakfast” at other places, and usually it means that they throw Irish Bacon in the normal mix of eggs and toast. But oh, how I underestimated you Bel Aire Diner. My plate is put in front of me, and I get this:
Okay, I didn’t get an actual photo of the plate, but sweet Mother O’Malley, people. Here’s what you get: Two eggs any style (I recommend over-hard), two savory pieces of Irish bacon, two pieces Irish sausage, two pieces regular sausage, French fries, and baked-bean style white pinto beans. And toast. Thanks, Irish for never inventing a dish that’s less than 70% starches. Everything comes out in a big pile, which you should most certainly put catsup upon and eat as one big conglomeration. I wouldn’t have suspected that all this mixed together would come up delicious, but my rule of thumb when eating out is: if it sound like a bizarre or terrible idea, ALWAYS order it. It will either be the best thing you ever put in your mouth, or a horrendous thing you can tell a story about later.
In addition, it’s not greasy. The meat is all real meat, not pieces of lard shaped into different forms. The beans are fresh, and the fries are light and crispy. Oh, and it’s only eight dollars. That’s right. Coffee is good diner coffee. It’s not the greatest, but certainly not brown water. It’s just strong enough for you to drink five cups without getting ill.
Two more reasons it’s great: 24 hours, and one block from my house. So come out here and eat, you little jerks!
