There once was a thing called “Meatopia” (If I was a radio DJ I would be punctuating with air horn blasts the spaces between paragraphs, so imagine one sounding off now if you will.)
Don’t believe the hype. DON”T BELIEVE THE HYPE. I’m speaking for the little guy here. If you read a good thing about this farcical festival of food, you read an untruth.
Mista Bee buzzin with a review of the first annual “Meatopia” a so called food festival.
You’ve never seen a bee, a little flying bee, wait in a line of people to get some food before have ya? But wait I did in several lines, waiting for a meaty morsel patiently, waiting waiting, and then as each food vendor ran out of food, you read that right, (food vendors out of food?) I was told along with all the people in line waiting “sorry we’re out of food.”
As each of the 30 “Meatopia” food vendors ran out, so on it went each line getting longer, and before a taste of food the vendor would inform the line “sorry all out.”
For two and a half hours I waited and was not fed a scrap. The bullshit of it all was the food was pre-paid for, I’d paid 45$ for 6 tastes. I thought innocently “Meatopia…six tastes…hamburger…hotdog..ribs…pulled pork…lamb…maybe some meat i’d never tried like rabbit?Yumms! I’d bought a ticket online and I showed up hungry and with 3-4 hours left of this so called Meatopia. I expected to eat, heck I’d spent 45$, anybody living in Cleveland can feed their two kids for a week on that much cash. TRUE.
I’d say there was a hell and I was in it if I wasn’t a bumble bee.
Sad and Hungry, if it was Meatopia I’d witnessed the fall of it.
Final notes, I’d like to say damn Meatopia’s creators, kiss my bee hind now and in the next years to come jerks, and I’d also like to thank Meatopia for ruining my afternoon. lucky I don’t sting ya.


4 comments
Comments feed for this article
July 27, 2010 at 10:51 AM
davekrofta
“Kiss my bee hind.” Priceless.
August 3, 2010 at 2:00 PM
vinald
i was deeply saddened to learn that Meatopia was not all it was cracked up to be. with a name like that, the imagination runs wild. meat is everywhere. it literally translates to ‘the ideal place of meat’. that’s pretty ripe for disappointment. maybe they should call it “Some Meat Stands: Don’t Get Too Excited-Fest”
August 4, 2010 at 3:30 AM
Jesse
You’re one sick individual!! Will you marry me!!
August 4, 2010 at 3:34 PM
Thu Tran
Mister Bee, you are right, I was there, I wanted to love every moment, I was patient, I waited in long lines only to leave empty handed too many times. And finally I got tooo HANGRY!!! What a miserable experience.