DORITO CORN BREAD

I think I created a new style of cooking I like to call “Food, The Sequel” or more simply as “Recycling Food”. Let me explain what it is by telling you a true story. This story is dramatized for dramatic effect.

A while ago, I walked to the corner store to buy a big bag of nacho cheese Doritos. I wound up buying TWO bags, because my eyes are bigger than my stomach. Like BIG bags. I was all by myself too, so this was all for me. I come home and I eat one whole bag in one sitting. That’s about 900 Doritos chips. Now I’m sick of Doritos for a little while. The following day, the other bag I got and didn’t eat is staring at me. EAT ME it says. I think to myself, “I cannot eat another Dorito, but I cannot stand to look at this bag while it’s staring at me.”

Now my mind is reeling, “I can just make you into something else….” again, thinking to myself, and “you” being the Dorito bag. I reached an epiphany to turn the Doritos into Dorito cornbread, where instead of using cornmeal, I used crushed up Doritos.

The Dorito bag is quivering now because it’s scared, and rightly so. I opened up the bag, dumped its entire contents into a large bowl, and proceeded to crunch the chips into the finest possible cornmeal with my bare fists. In my clenched hands they all crumbled, and their cries sounded like dry autumn leaves under your feet. It was still pretty chippy, but I did my best. I carefully licked my hands clean afterward, because I realized I had an entire Dorito bag’s worth of cheese powder crusted on. This was satisfying.

I adapted a tried and true skillet cornbread recipe and replaced most of the cornmeal for A LOT of Doritos. The results were a deliciously recontextualized bag of Doritos. Imagine eating a Dorito, and never crunching, because the texture is just soft bread. Weird, right?

So the term, “Food, The Sequel”, applies to any scenario where the food you eat comes back, bigger and better than ever!

DORITO CORNBREAD
-1 big $3 sized bag of Doritos (any flavor you desire) (crushed as finely as possible)
-1/3 cup cornmeal
-1 8oz can creamed corn
-1 egg
-1/4 cup veg oil
-2 TB butter

Preheat oven to 400 F. Mixed the crushed up Doritos, cornmeal, egg, creamed corn, and oil together in a big bowl. The batter might seem a little runny. Let that sit for about 10 minutes so some of the liquid pre-soaks into the chips.

Melt the butter in a cast iron skillet on medium high until the butter smells a little toasty and awesome. Dump the batter into the skillet and fry until the edges look a little brown. Finish it off in the oven for about 10 minutes. Eat it while it’s hot!

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