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A couple of weeks ago while trying to enjoy myself in the Lower East Side a friend of mine and I went to get some post drink snacks at Mikey’s Burger, the latest offering from lower Manhattan’s leader of Vietnamication, Michael “Bao” Huynh, the guy behind Baoguette and Bia. A smallish, tiled greasy spoon, Mikey’s Burger just sells burgers, hotdogs, fries and shakes, mixing in elements of Southeast Asia with the classics of American fast food.
My friend Steve and I, after glancing over the menu, decided to go with the The Mikey, which is a burger topped with onions, corned beef, and pickled mustard seed. We perched ourselves on two stools by the fryer and watched as the cooks took out and shaped fresh hamburger patties and cooked them to order on the grill. I also took note that the precooked fries were kept oiled in a tray before they hit the fryer, which, while I dont know much about frying, struck me as a pretty interesting approach as I always assumed blanching was the way to go when making fries. Either way if and when I ever decide to make my own french fries, I might give that approach a try, but then again we didn’t get the fries so I have no idea if they were any good. Anyways, after about 5 minutes, we got our burgers, served in little paper tries. I proceeded to pour some Sriracha on the burger and dig in. The first thing I noticed was that the burger itself was juicy and thick, as they went with the more patted down ball of meat approach as opposed to the patty. But beyond that I didnt really taste the corned beef or the mustard seed. All in all it wasn’t a bad burger, and it really hit the spot at 3AM, however it’s a tad bit pricey ($5.50…I guess it could be worse), but when you’re drunk at 3AM, everything seems like a great idea.
Today I made a trek through the snow globe that has become the northeast to Bark Hot Dogs, a newish(?) semi-upscale hot dog spot in Park Slope.
The interior is nice, modern, sparse, and sort of fancy what with its wood panelling, plain white brick walls, and long communal bar benches, which I always think is a crucial set up when ever hotdogs and burgers are involved. But enough about the interior, I’m here to talk about the dogs, and they were…ok. I got my usual litmus test dogs, chili cheese and sauerkraut with mustard, and a lemon-lime FoxOn Park soda. After a 5 or so minute wait, my order came out on a nice little metal tray lined with butcher paper. The first thing I noticed was that they went for the “just right” approach with the toppings. As opposed to some hot dog places like say, Happy Dog in Cleveland who overload your dog to the point that you need a knife and fork, Bark put just the right amount so that things were spilling out all over the place while you ate or overpowering the fairly slender dog (oddly enough though, my chili cheese dog sort of ended up leaning to one side of the paper tray it sat in and the chili and melted cheese ended up adhering to the tray so I used a knife and fork anyways). The second thing I noticed was that the dogs were longer than the bun and curled up on the sides. The weiners had a nice snap and fairly mellow hot dog flavor, which I think could be attributed to the use of a pork blend as opposed to the heavier somewhat spicier taste of all beef, which I prefer but I’m not complaining either. The cheese was a melted white cheddar and the chili was a beanless meat sauce (yes!) both of which were decent. The kraut dog was pretty straightforward, nothing really notable to mention, but one thing that did stick out to me about both dogs was the bun. They were toasted really nicely and had a nice chewiness to them, a real quality piece of bread.
All in all the meal was pretty good, leaning more towards decent as opposed to awesome, but something that kept ringing in my ear from the second I paid to my walk home was that 2 hot dogs and a soda came out to about $15. A while back there was a small discussion in the comment section here about people paying way too much money for what’s supposed to an everyday man’s meal, and I honestly leaned towards the “sometimes you’ve just gotta pay a little more for a quality product”. But after eating at Bark, and I am no way saying it’s a total rip off or anything, I couldn’t stop thinking about the David Cross bit about eating at Jean Georges and then while eating you realize “WAIT A MINUTE…THIS ISNT WORTH $______!” I mean, I think Crif Dogs makes a more quality product and they’re at least a dollar cheaper across the board. Five Guys, despite being about $12 for a burger, fries, and a drink, fills you up and gives you enough fries to feed a small family.
So there you have it, my all over the place review of Bark Hot Dogs. Pretty good, definitely worth a stop in if you’re in the area, and possibly worth a second visit (they serve breakfast on weekend mornings, as well as burgers and fries which I didn’t try), but nothing really mindblowing.
So a little while ago there was a big buzz in the fast food world about KFC’s Double Down sandwich, which if you don’t know is a sandwich where fried chicken is the bun and bacon, cheese, and some mystery sauce is the filler. However it was then revealed that it was only being sold in select markets and those of us not in those markets were left with only our imaginations as to what this monstrosity could taste like and just how many of them we could eat before dying.
Well, what was also sort of causing a little buzz, granted only in the midtown lunch world, was Midtown Lunch’s Sandwich Challenge. Sort of a competition, the idea was for midtown lunch spots to come up with a sandwich under $10 that is, in Zach’s words, “Bold. New. Unhealthy. Wrong (but oh so right.)”. Some entries included a Mexican Cheesestreak from the El Rey del Sabor cart, a Fried Calamari Hero from Lazzara’s, and a Duck Pastrami Sandwich from Free Foods. Sadly enough, a lot of these places are a little too far out of my jurisdiction here in midtown east (the El Rey Del Sabor near me didnt have it), so I didnt get around to trying any of them…until now. And which one did I try? The winner of the Midtown Lunch August Sandwich Challenge, The Colonel’s Heart Attack from Cer Te.
Located a little bit of a walk from my work, Cer Te is a place Id been meaning to check out for a while due to the many entries about on Midtown Lunch. So with today finally being a slow day here in magic TV land, me and my usual lunch companions Phil and Delancey made the trek and got 3 Colonel’s Heart Attacks to go. Oh what’s that? What’s a Colonel’s Heart Attack? Well I’m glad you asked. It’s 2 pieces of boneless fried chicken breast, topped with mac & cheese, and collard greens sandwiched in a biscuit with a side of gravy. How can you go wrong? Well first off, upon ordering the guy told us they were out of collard greens, but they had sauteed spinach. Ok, fine, even though I would’ve rather have had the collard greens. And then we ended up waiting for honestly at least 15 minutes. Ok, whatever. Like I said, it’s a slow day at work. And it’s a $9.75 sandwich. Look as long as it fills me up and is good, fine. We get our sandwiches after slowly depleting their supply of free brownie samples and made the trip back to the office. Everything looked good, it was a good size, and I dug in. Shit was crumbly. Crumbs were flying all over the place so I switched to a fork and knife. Still crumbs, so I put it on a paper plate and went to town. It was good, but I noticed that it was also somehow a tad bland and dry. But no problem right? They gave us gravy on the side…no they didn’t. It turned out to be a little container of cole slaw and some bullshit pickle (I hate pickles). But whatever, I dumped some hot sauce on and finished that thing.
The moral of the story: conceptually it was a good idea, but, but what I think this is an issue with a lot of these Frankenstein Foods is that as you start to combine all these foods, shit just gets too convoluted and next thing you know you’re not really tasting one thing or the other. And in the case of the Colonel’s Heart Attack, not only did flavors blend into each other, they blended into each other in a bland way. I mean right now it feels like I just ate a biscuit and spinach sandwich that had some crusty stuff and yellow glop in it. Now before this ends with me sounding like I’m damning the Colonel’s Heart Attack, I still want to commend Cer Te for making a creative sandwich, and I will definitely consider going back to check out some of their other sandwich specials such as the Thanksgiving Dip (I’ve always wanted to open a year round Thanksgiving restaurant that just served Thanksgiving food), as well as what looked like quality desserts.
It’s also summer 2.0 outside, so you should just do yourself a favor and go for a walk regardless.
Enjoy!
I’m pretty sure that 95%+ of the contributors to this site have some sort of affiliation with the grey skied wonder that is Cleveland, Ohio. I would say that I grew up there (my family moved there was I was 8 from Dallas) and I still call it home. I don’t get back there as much as I used to, and I definitely haven’t had many chances to go out and explore the ever expanding gastronic community that Cleveland has to offer as I’m often eating dinner at home with the folks (which I should stress is not a bad thing). So a couple of weeks ago I went back for my 10 year high school reunion (yeah), and I made it a point to go out and get some food. Here’s how it went down.
Thursday
My mom picked me up from the airport and we went to Pho Hoa, formerly known as Superior Pho. My parents usually opt for #1 Pho (that’s where my mom initially wanted to go) and I think it’s mainly because it’s nicer. However, in the few times in the past that I’ve managed to get Superior, I always found it to be, well, superior. The broth just seems better and for me thats the deciding factor. This homecoming bowl was no exception as it was as good as I had remembered and definitely a great post-airplane meal.
It’s still got nothing on my mom’s though.
(sidenote: I notice that a lot of pho places use the thinner more vermicelli-esque noodles as opposed to the flat ones. What’s with that?)
Friday
I went to my high schooll reunion and they had pretty mediocre “barbecue”. I did get pretty drunk though.
Saturday
I had Popeyes with my parents. As my brother would tell you, my parents love Popeyes. The nearest Popeyes is by Randall Park Mall (RIP) and that’s like 20 minutes away, yet they make the drive every other week. When asked why, they cited the spicy chicken and just the overall quality. Recently when my mom was on her maiden trip to New York, I took her to Egg where reportedly one of the girls from Pies N’ Thighs makes the fried chicken. She ordered it, and when my brother asked her if it was as good as Popeyes, my mom said “No…but they’re different.”
I for one have always loved Popeyes because of their mashed potatoes, which has chunks of chicken and skin in it.
When explaining my parents’ love of Popeyes to my girlfriend, she said “Now I see where you get it from.”
Sunday
We ate at this pseudo-fancy seafood place at Beachwood mall. My parents and brother had eaten there before and said it was okay, and at first glance it was. I even ordered oysters and they were fine. But my entree, some Ahi Tuna dish, was an honest to goodness disaster. It was “Cajun spiced” and cooked rare, but it was served like sashimi, with the traditional sushi ecoutrements and some nori wrapped rice. Instinctively deciding to eat it like sushi I dunked a piece of tuna in my soy sauce, only I discovered that “Cajun spiced” meant “salty as F” and that combining that with the soy sauce was salt overload. And the rice rolls were too few to really matter for anything. Why would you Cajun spice a dish you’re serving and presenting like it’s Japanese? All in all it was a horriblely conceived dish and enough to not make me care enough to look up the name of the place.
There’s better seafood in Cleveland.
Monday
After a year or two of good intentions, I finally went to Melt in Lakewood. Original plans to go were often maligned by “There’s an hour wait” or “Mom’s making steak”, but this time I made it a point to designate one lunch for Melt, and I was not disappointed. I had long studied the menu in my off time to prepare myself for the day that I actually went, so I knew what I was in for food wise. However I was a little surprised to see that the place was a legitimate bar/restaurant, with decor not too far off from The Winking Lizard (only a little more focused on rock & roll and retro kitsch like a 1978 Cleveland Browns team photo in the bathroom). I always just pictured it as a greasy little place with some stools and a counter.
Accompanied by my pal Jim “Lil Shakespeare” Zadd, we sat at the bar and were promptly attended to by the bartender. We ordered our food and drink, I a Municipal Stadium (bratwurst, sauerkraut, american cheese, I asked for no peppers) with lemonade and Jim an El Diablo Burger con Budweiser. After a bit of a wait, our food came out and here’s what I got:
Each dish came with a side of handcut fries and slaw, both of which were pretty good (only I don’t really like sweet slaw). The sandwich however was obviously the real star, as it is the namesake, and it didn’t disappoint. I was a little skeptical prior to my Melt experience as I have had poor grilled cheese sandwich concepts before, but this was pretty much right on the money. They split the sausage so that it didnt slide all over the place, and they put just enough kraut so that it didnt squirt out when you took a bite. Honestly every bite had every ingredient in it, no joke, and I think that’s a pretty big plus in my book. The sausage was flavorful, as was the kraut, and the cheese being American did it’s job (I really like American cheese). My only minor complaint was that the bread was a little too thick, but it’s honestly negligible. Best of all, this pile of food that I did not finish (fries will always be my downfall) was only $9.
All in all, it was a great sandwich well worth the money, and I would definitely go back and try another. And if you haven’t been there yet, you should. Just check out the menu.
So that’s it. Tuesday I went back to New York with my mom and brother because my brother had this reading he was doing at Le Poussin Rouge. There are many more places in Cleveland I need to hit up, some new, most old, and I hope to check some more off the list when I’m back for the 4th of July. If you’ve got any suggestions, feel free to comment away.
This isn't what I made, but it's similar.
Or should that be “Nachos: It’s What’s For Lunch”?
Anyways, prior to actually getting lunch today, I got the munchies and looked around to see what I had. And what I had was one bag of Corazonas Heart Healthy Hint of Lime Whole Grain tortilla chips. Don’t ask. I’ve snacked on these a couple of times on their own, and while they’re ok, they just aren’t tasty enough to legitimately snack on. But then it hit me: we have american cheese in the fridge. And a microwave next to the fridge.
And there you have it. I had some nachos before lunch. The melted american cheese made the Corazonas 10x’s better and I ate the whole thing in about 2 minutes. But this got me thinking: why don’t more people eat nachos for lunch? Is it because it’s “unhealthy”? Or is it because it looks shitty and unhealthy (melted american cheese isnt the prettiest of the melted cheeses)? But come on, I mean, it’s totally easy and totally cheap.
That’s it. I’m still wondering why.
Oh and in case you didn’t know, May is National Burger Month. Act accordingly.
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I’m sure somebody somewhere has made a sandwich out of graham crackers, peanut butter, and vanilla ice cream at some point in time, but this was a “eureka” moment for me. So good that i immediately made another one as soon as I was done with the first.
In trying to give it a clever name that harkens back to its forefather the S’more, i have dubbed this boredom snack the S’Mo Williams, in honor of the All Star Cleveland Cavaliers point guard.
Go Cavs, and go snack.
Working in midtown I make frequent visits to Midtown Lunch to see if there’s anything new on the lunch front (lunch is my favorite part of the work day). Having worked in midtown for over 2 years now, it often feels like I’ve been to every place on Midtown Lunch that’s of interest to me, until I read about Cafe Zaiya on 41st between 5th and Madison. I don’t know how long it’s been around, but I’m glad I found it because it’s become my new lunch place.
Now I’m not going to waste your time describing to you in detail what Cafe Zaiya is seeing how Zach at Midtown Lunch has already done that (it’s a Japanese lunch spot), so I’m just going to jump to the chase: the food.
When you enter Cafe Zaiya there are numerous stations. To the left is the Beard Papa cream puff station featuring, uh, cream puffs, in the back is the hot food station which had fish, noodles, etc, to the right is the bakery (more on that in a sec), and in the middle is the ready-to-eat stuff, like sandwiches, bento boxes, and noodle bowls. On my first visit I picked up a curry chicken sandwich from the middle rack and a potato and ham “pizza” from the bakery, costing me about $6. The curry chicken sandwich was awesome as it was breaded chicken breast, lettuce, tomato, some Japanese curry sauce, and a hard boiled egg on a soft roll. Simple removal of the tomato (I dont like raw tomato) and it was on. That alone would’ve been fine but I felt the need to try more than one thing so I got the “pizza” and boy was I happy I did. Now the bakery offered lots and lots of stuff, from a variety of “pizzas” including chicken and scallion and berkshire pork, to traditional Japanese sweet pastries, to croquettes and pork buns. I went with a pizza. Ham and semi-mashed potatoes on a crust sort of pastry that reminded me of a big flat croissant all covered in cheese, how could you go wrong. I turned to my coworker more than once while eating it to tell him that this was where it was at. At only $2.50 this thing is a steal as it fills you up and tastes like a dream come true.
My second visit I went straight to the bakery picking up yet another ham and potato pizza as well as a spicy tuna puff roll thing. It was a ball of golden brown dough filled with a spicy tuna salad of some sort and that didn’t disappoint either. The tuna had a nice kick to it but it wasn’t overwhelming, nor did it seem to be too heavy as the tuna still seemed to be the major component to the filling. I would definitely get it again.
I guess that’s the bottom line. Cafe Zaiya is awesome and I’ve only had 3 things there. It’s worth going to just for the bakery alone and the prices are reasonable if not, dare I say, almost cheap. And while I’m a fan of Japanese food, I think anybody could go in there and find something they like, as they even sell stuff like BLT’s and ham sandwiches.
Ok, that’s it. If you’re in midtown, hell, even if you’re not, go to Cafe Zaiya. You will not be disappointed.
Look for beard papa.
Last Sunday Jacq and I made a little trip up to Springfield, Massachusetts to attend the grand New England spectacle that is The Big E. For those not familiar with The Big E aka The Eastern States Exposition, the best description I could give is that its a giant state fair for all of New England. It was like a flea market/trade show/carnival/state fair/cultural festival, all crammed onto paved fairgrounds. Imagine a small theme park, but with most of the space set aside for giant airplane hanger type buildings and vendors rather than rides. However we weren’t really there to soak in the New England culture and check up on the latest farming equipment or Sham Wow knock off, we were there to eat. First on the list, the official dessert of The Big E, the cream puff.
Why the cream puff and the eclair are the “signature desserts” of The Big E I have no idea, but its even got its own page on the website. So as soon as we saw sign for them, we followed, and got to a counter where you could see ladies actively baking and, uh, creaming. A nice older lady sold us a cream puff and a cup of milk, and I think I summed it up best when I said “well have you ever had a bad cream puff?” The pastry part was nice, crispy and somewhat chewy, while the whipped cream seemed like the real deal: nice a fluffy, sweet but not too sweet so that you can still taste the cream. The milk was a solid compliment and the puff was the perfect size to share. Now at this point I must mention that for me the strategy for the day was pacing. I’ve been known to gorge myself on buffets to the point of puking, so that day, knowing that many snack treasures awaited me, I decided to take it easy on the portions so that I could parttake in as much smashing as possible. Basically what I’m saying is that I could’ve easily eaten a whole cream puff myself.
An interesting part of the E is a little walkway called “The Avenue of the States”. Each state in New England has its own building along this avenue, sort of like a mini-city hall, and inside each you can find stuff about tourism, heritage, souvenirs, knick-knacks, and of course, food. And each state house is right next to the other so you literally walk out one door and into the door of the next, which was nice especially when it started to rain. I can bore you with more details, but I’ll cut the chase. We started at the Connecticut house where I was finally able to indulge myself in what was becoming the white whale of my gastronimical endeavors in New England eats: the steamed cheeseburger.
Connecticut might be the only state in the Union, let alone New England, where the steamed cheeseburger can be found. Looked down upon by many hamburger purists, the steamed cheesburger is just that: steamed meat topped with molten steamed cheese. Having been through Connecticut a few times, I’d never gotten around to getting the steamed cheeseburger, so as soon as I saw it available at the CT house at the E, I jumped on it. I ordered one as Jacq wasn’t as interested as I was, and immediately got to business. First reaction: shit was hot. Steam was coming out every which way and I had to take a step back and blow on it a sec before I went back in for a proper bite. Second reaction: shit was real beefy tasting. When you grill or make a burger on a griddle, theres a lot of caramelization going on, adding a lot to the flavor of the burger, but steaming the burger seems to give you just the beef, and nothing else. It tasted like biting into a ground beef patty, which is stupid of me to say because thats just what it is, but thats the best way I can describe it. It didn’t seem like the beef was really seasoned that heavily, and the steaming kept it pretty moist. The cheddar cheese, while awesome and melted, didnt really add to much flavor as the beef sort of overpowered it. I guess I should add that I ate it plain, no ketchup, mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, nothing. Just meat and cheese. The Bottom Line: This burger tastes like no burger. It honestly tasted like a ground beef sandwich with some cheese on it, but that’s not to say that it was bad, because it was good, and I’d eat them on the regular if they sold these things outside of Meriden, CT. From the Connecticut house we walked to the next one, which I think was New Hampshire. The only thing I’ve done in New Hampshire was stop at the state liquore store and buy some booze, because they don’t tax in New Hampshire. Basically, I don’t think there’s much to see in the real New Hampshire, and there wasn’t much to see in the little New Hampshire. Next we hit up the Maine house, and it was there that we hit the motherload.
We walked in, slowly meandered our way to the back, and there we saw it: “FRESH MAIN LOBSTER ROLLS, $9″. Now I should state that the median price for all the lobster rolls I’ve eaten in my life, from Park Slop to California to Boston, is about $15. Even the lobster rolls being sold at one of the stands at the gate of The Big E was $14. So my first reaction was that there had to be a catch.
If there was a catch, it was that there weren’t freshly steamed lobsters being cracked behind the counter and the rolls weren’t toasted. That was it. Nice huge hunks of lobster meat, just a touch of mayo, all in a top-split hotdog bun. A solid lobster roll through and through, and more than worth the $9. It was good enough that at the end of the day we went back for another one. Following the Maine House we hit up the Vermont house, whose main attraction was Ben & Jerry’s. Now we’ve got nothing against Ben & Jerry’s, but we weren’t in dessert mode yet. We were still looking for those fine fine New England seafood delicacies, and the Massachusetts house next door delivered with that quintessential New England seafood delicacy, clam chowder.
Like the cream puff, have you ever had really bad clam chowder? Ah probably, but this chowder was solid. Nice and creamy, chunks of potatoes not too big, and most importantly, good-sized clams. If the weather was a little colder, I probably would’ve enjoyed it that much more. Last of the houses was the Rhode Island house, where Quahog was king.
Asides from being the setting of “Family Guy”, quahogs are a type of clam, and here it was being sold fried, in fritters, and in soup. We considered getting some bisque for a second, but I was kind of souped out after the chowder, and we thought about getting the clam fritters, but we’re not big fritter fans (too much dough), so fried clams it was. They were sold as “clam tenders” and I think that it may have been a different treatment from the usual clam strips that are fried up. We got an order of clams, a side of coctail sauce, and a Coke, and went outside to chow down on our final stop on the Avenue of the States.
Not bad, but not the greatest. I dont know if it was the batter used or the “clam tenders” themselves, but they just weren’t clammy enough for my liking, and the coctail sauce didn’t have enough horseradish in it. It wasn’t bad but nothing special either, making me wonder if we should’ve tried the fritters after all. They did have a nice condiment station however, with buckets of coctail sauce, and ketchup and mustard squeeze bottles filled with vinegar, hot sauce, and lemon juice. So that was it for us and the eating safari that was The Big E. There was tons more to eat, see, and do, from maple candies to carnival food, from horse shows to giant potato sack slides (which was the first thing we did), but I just wanted to give you the highlights. I didn’t know what to expect on our way there, but I definitely left happy, and it is definitely on my list of things to do every autumn. All these times we’ve gone on little excursions just to have, say, a lobster roll or some fresh clam strips, and there it all was, in one place, and the best part was that none of it was particularly shotty. It was all pretty good quality stuff. If you want to see some more photos from our adventure, you can check out my Picasa album, and on that note, I leave you with this, also seen at The Big E:
What can be said about the Red Hook soccer field vendors that hasn’t already been said before? I think Porkchop Express has pretty much given the most insightful and detailed converage of the Red Hook vendors one can find on the internet, so I’m just going to get to the point and tell you what I thought about the food.
photo courtesy of porkchop express because i didnt bring a camera
After parking the car we made our way down Bay Street where we found the Rojas Ceviche stand sitting at the end with what appeared to be the shortest line out of all the stands (and by “shortest” i mean “no line”). Not being deterred by the lack of a line or the fact that it was seafood coming from a stand, we ordered the mixto ceviche and a water. With our cevicho (it came in a container roughly the size of container of soup from a midtown power lunch, enough to fill one person but also enough to split between 2 people) came a little container of what turned out to be hot sauce. We opened up the ceviche, poured in the hotsauce, and dug in, and let me tell you, in flat out honesty, that this was some of, if not the best ceviche Ive ever had. I should also tell you that this might be just the second time I’ve ever had ceviche, but this shit was good. The broth was lemony but with a hint of saltiness, and had what looked like parsley floating around in a cloudy white haze. I could’ve eaten that shit like it was soup. And then there was meat. Now when getting this ceviche I unfairly expected 2 things: 1.) There wasn’t going to be much meat, and 2.) The meat wasn’t going to be the best. I was wrong on both accounts. The thing was filled with red onions, shrimp, octopus, squid, and white fish, and each piece was sizable, tender, and flavorful. This thing got 10’s across the board, from portion size to flavor, to quality. I am going to go out on a limb right now and say that this ceviche alone might be reason enough to visit the Red Hook vendors. There are, of course, other options…
While researching the Red Hook vendors on Porkchop Express, the one thing that seemed to get the most attention was the huarache. I mean look at that thing: meat, cheese, lettuce, cilantro, crema, tomatoes, and lord knows what else packed into a gigantic grainy tortilla. It’s like a giant taco married to a burrito minus the filler, and Porkchop Express gives this thing rave reviews, so of course I’m getting one. So immediately after we finish our ceviche, I go in search of the huarache. Now on Porkchop Express he mentions two places that sell them, Hernandez Huarache and Martinez Huarache, and from what I could tell, neither of which were there. Instead there was a big metal food truck with a makeshift tent in front of it, and Dale Earnhardt “3″ on the side, and line seemingly 10 miles long. Normally I’d look at that line and say “F it”, but I had just watched an episode of “No Reservations” where this guy in Uruguay talks about how all we really have in life is time and how he likes waiting in lines. So I keep this in mind and couple it with the fact that it’s Sunday, I ain’t got shit to do, and the weather’s nice, and I say “F it” again and wait in line. About 20 minutes into waiting I ask Jacquline if she thinks that it would be a good idea for her to go get some other food for us to try while I wait, and she agrees and goes to get some pork and cheese pupusas and a tamale.
pupusa image from the internet.
The pupusas were good, as it was crispy on the bottom but moist on the inside, almost like a flattened griddle-baked tamale. There was a variety of pupusas to choose from, randing from pork and cheese, to beans and cheese, to veggies and cheese, etc., but we opted for the pork and cheese, which I feel was a good way to go about the afternoon. Topped with crema and coupled with some slaw, it was a quality snack, waiting in line or not.
We decided to save the tamale for our huarache finale, which turned out to be about a half hour later. Yes, that’s right, I ended up waiting about an hour for some motherfucking food. I think what slowed down the service was people with big orders. A couple of times I saw someone come around the side and make an order and the next thing I know the cooks seemed to drop everything and make like 50 things before tending to the ever growing line. But whatever, the weather was nice…right? So I finally get to the front, and I order my bistek huarache, and the lady says “it’s going to be a few minutes.” And Im like “how many?” And she says “8″, and I say “F it! I’ll wait!” (not really but I said “I’ll wait.”) because fuck it man, I’ve already waited an hour what the fuck is 8 minutes?
And then, as if she was merely testing my mettle, she puts together a huarache and hands it to me. I pay the $6, and walk away feeling accomplished.
We go and sit on a bench next to a field where a soccer game is going on, and I immediately go to work, and it’s good. I mean, with that combo of stuff can you really go wrong? I mean, really? However I wasn’t feeling the tortilla. It was sort of brittle and a little too grainy, reminding me almost of a pita instead of a tortilla. And about halfway through it hit me: this wasn’t worth waiting an hour for. 15 minute wait? On a nice Sunday afternoon, sure? 1/2 hour? Maybe. But an hour? Well I wouldn’t do it again is all I’m saying. However, for $6, it’s a pretty good bargain as it’s still pretty good and the thing will fill you up like a mofo.
So in conclusion, if you like some authentic South American/Latin food on the cheap, this can’t be missed. Especially since there are rumors flying around that this could be its last year. The ceviche from Rojas Ceviech? Awesome. Pupusas? Great. The tamale that I forgot to tell you about? Quality, The fabled Huarache? Good, just don’t wait an hour for it. Honestly, if the line goes past the park entrance, you might be in for a lot of standing around and you might want to check back later.
More details about the Red Hook vendors? Porkchop Express!
What’s a Frankenstein Food you ask? Well it’s a term I made up after I started noticing more and more of these crazy combo foods that restaurants come up to blow our minds one by one. The KFC Bowl, the Not-So Omellete at Yours Truly, The Burger King King Omellete sandwich, The Fat Sandwiches at the Rutger’s grease trucks, these are all examples of Frankestein foods, taking foods that usually are considered separate, and combining them to form an amazing whole. I guess you can call these “Island of Dr. Moreau Foods”, or maybe just “Dr. Moreau” foods, but Frankenstein Foods just rolls off the tongue a little easier. But whatever, I’m not trying to create my own lexicon, I just wanted a term to file these foods under.
So last weekend I was back in Cleveland for a wedding, and like everytime I am on “vacation” or “travelling”, I took the opportunity to eat some good old fast food. My first day back I gave Cleveland snacking buddy Pants a call to see if he had any suggestions as to new places that may have popped up since I’ve gone that I can get some sweet lunch at.
He had no suggestions.
So I hit the road, trying to figure out a place to go when I saw it off in the distance shimmering like an oasis in the desert…Rally’s. And after such past gems as the Barbecue Bacon Cheeseburger, and their limited time Cheezy Special Burgers, what new amazing sandwich did Rally’s have to offer? The Philly Cheesesteak Burger.
I first learned of this sandwich via some research my friend Jim Ogrin did for an upcoming fastfood podcast we will be apart of (stay tuned!) after he visited the Rally’s/Checkers website, yet I had somehow forgot about it until that moment. And not only were these burgers readily available, they were somehow selling these 2 for $4. Being a little precautious, I ordered one with an order of small fries (man have I gone wussy or what?). I got home and opened up the wrapper to find a cheeseburger topped with philly cheesesteak meat, red onions, and what I guess is cheese sauce, sandwiched between two sourdough buns. And it was sweet. And an added plus, seeing how I am a fairly picky carnivore, there were no condiments I had to pick out and that always gets extra points in my book. Honestly after I ate it, I immediately saw why they were selling these 2 for $4. They are that awesome.
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On the drive back to New York that following Tuesday, my friend Todd was in the middle of his driving shift when he turned to the rest of us and said, “Uh, if I see a Denny’s I’m stopping…cool?”
And we were all like “Uh, ok…”, and it was then that he regaled us with the tale of the Denny’s Slam Burger.
A cheeseburger topped with hashbrowns, an egg, and hollandaise. Seriously. So immediately after that I became a staunch supporter of the Denny’s stop movement, and then, about an hour later, we saw a sign for Denny’s (Lenny’s).
We went inside and opened up the menus only to see no word about the Slam Burger. WTF. So the waiter showed up and Todd asks him where the Slam Burger was, and the waiter kindly informed us that it was on the late night (stoner) menu, but he did slyly through in that they “make exceptions” and let’s just say that we became those exceptions. So, after an extended wait where we figured they were freaking out and calling in the special late night cook and maybe spitting in our food, we finally got our Slam Burgers and visually, it looked amazing. A juicey burger with a crisp layer of hashbrowns, a fried egg, and some hollandaise dripping out here and there. But upon eating it, I was reminded of something: Denny’s ain’t known for their burgers. The burger meat reminded me of “cubed beef” or the kind of beef that’s often used for cheap country fried steak in that it’s not quite hamburger meat, and it dries out like a mofo. On top of that, everything else was kind of a tasteless melange of grease. And don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of grease melanges, but this one just didn’t work for me. The yolk wasn’t runny, the hashbrowns tasted like they were frozen Ore Ida brand, and the hollandaise just didn’t have enough flavor.
So bottom line:
Rally’s Philly Cheesesteak Burger: 4 (out of 5)
Denny’s Slam Burger: 2
On Tuesday April 29th, the IFC center here in the NY, NY, NY (props to Zach Bruno) will be showing The Burger and the King, a 1996 documentary about Elvis and his life long love affair with food.
Now the whole thing can be viewed on youtube in 6 parts with Scandinavian subtitles, but Im willing to wait and watch it on the big screen, and as an added bonus, the director, James Marsh, will be there to do a little Q&A afterwards.
I was a pedestrian Elvis fan for a decent amout of time, mainly of skinny young Elvis. However, following a visit to Graceland the summer after graduating from college, I became totally sold on the fat, older, decadent (yet still really religious) Elvis who flew to Denver in the middle of the night to have a hollowed out loaf of bread filled with butter, peanut butter, jelly, and bacon, better known as the Fool’s Gold Loaf. The same dude who ate fried chicken coated with crushed up potato chips and shot out one of his 3 tvs (they were all next to each other in his basement mind you) because he felt like it.
You might remember that not too long ago Reese’s came out with limited edition Elvis peanut butter and banana creme cups to commemorate…well I dont know what the special occasion was. But I do remember picking up a pack while on a car ride either to or from New York and Cleveland, and finding it to be pretty disgusting. However that might have to do with my total disliking of any banana flavored candy.
The Peanut Butter & Co. shop in Greenwich Village offers a pretty good Elvis sandwich, though its more of a combo sandwich as they combine the fried (though they just grill theirs) peanut butter and banana sandwich with bacon. I’ve experimented with the bacon and peanut butter sandwich a few times at home with limited success (i think the key is getting good bacon and figuring out a good PB/bacon ratio), though that doesnt mean I will stop. And since I bought some hamburger meat not too long ago (I have a stock of buns in the freezer. Dont ask), I might experiment with the peanut butter burger as well.
But I digress.
Thanks to A Hamburger Today for the heads up and info.
this has been all over the place today, but F it. this is foodparty material. groceryeats.com has given the world the big macchicken.what is the big macchicken you ask? this is what it is:
this might beat out jack black’s “surf and turf” (featured on an old episode of mtv’s “diary”, he combined a mcdonald’s cheeseburger with a fish-filet).
yesterday jacq and i made buffalo chicken dip for the superbowl. we were originally introduced to this magic concoction while attending a halloween party put on by my brother’s friend in cleveland.we didnt use ranch dressing but instead just threw in some bleu cheese and a little more cream cheese. also, instead of putting into a pan and baking it, we threw it all into a crock pot and let it get awesome. shit was orange and good.
found this on neatorama (or should i say meatorama?…anyone?) today. It’s a house made out of sausage, bacon and breadcrumbs.
’nuff said.
click here for the recipe and a step by step gallery.
this past weekend jacq, myself, and one trevor steels went to new brunswick (new jersey) to check out our friends’ band orenthal james, who were playing at some bar with some other bands.
after getting lost and almost entering pennsylvania (thanks google maps!), we finally got into into new brunswick after about 2 hours (it should only be about an hour trip). surly and hungry, my eyes widened as off in the distance i saw a parking lot wth what looked like a trailer park/shanty town consisting of about 4 or 5 food trucks situated in one corner. could these be the fabeled grease trucks that id heard all about? birthplace of the fat darrel , the wonder sandwich consisting of chicken fingers, mozzerella sticks, french fries, marinara sauce and/or mayonnaise, lettuce, tomatoes and onions on a sub roll, and considered by maxim magazine as the greatest sandwich in the country?
yes. yes they are.
immediately throwing out the immediate plans to meet up with our friends at a house nearby, i turn into the parking lot and speed walked over to the courtyard of red and white (rutgers’ colors) grease trucks. it was a little early in the evening (8?) and only two of the 5 trucks were open. i breezed through the menu of the one truck where i saw such magnificent combinations as philly cheesesteak with chicken fingers, french fries, and barbecue sauce and names such as the “fat dom” and “fat koko”. and even better, these cholesterol beasts, or “fat sandwiches” as theyre called, were only $5 each. awesome. awesome i tell myself, but i dont want to get all crazy too fast, so i walked over and checked out the menu for the other truck that was open and to my surprise the entire menu was the same as the first. everything, from the names and ingredients of the sandwiches to the prices and the pictures of drunk rutgers students decorating the exterior. both trucks were run by what appeared to be arabic guys, and they didnt seem to be in competition to each other as they all yelled to each other and, well, sold the same shit. as if one day they all just concluded “well, these drunk college kids just want to eat these ridiculous sandwiches so why bother competing? theres enough drunk kids for all of us to get rich!” or, as is the case with many a bodegas situated next to each other, the same dudes probably own both or all of the trucks. i dont know, either way, they all sold the same shit, and i thought that was weird.
i went back to the first truck and went through the menu again and suddenly, i found myself doing something weird: considering my health. now not too toot my own horn, but cholesterol and the like have never intimidated me for i have tackled such heart-destroying foods from deep fried pizza to double chili cheese dogs (and as of last summer, my cholesterol is surprisingly on the level). but now, i was thinking twice. did i dare put up to 3 kinds of fried food into my body, let alone fried food topped with more fried food topped with cheese? i hestitated, i thought, and i went with what i thought was a safe choice (read: wussed out): the fat sop (soprano): chicken fingers, bacon, red sauce, and white sauce (the same they use at halal carts). jacq got cheesy eggs on french fries. we stood and waited as other kids ordered their foods and soon jacq’s eggs were ready. i told the dude that i was paying for both and soon enough a sandwich plopped down on the counter and the guy said “fat something or other”. basicallly, something i didnt understand. but seeing how i ordered after jacq, i figured it was my sandwich, grabbed it, and paid.
i was wrong.
we got to the house we were meeting people at and i couldnt escape the smell of ketchup coming from my sandwich. what the fuck? my sandwich didnt have ketchup on it unless thats what they pass for “red sauce” in new jersey. no, i peaked and i saw french fries. tons of french fries. ok i grabbed someone else’s sandwich but whatever, im gonna eat this thing. this must be the work of god. we walked inside and i immediately went to the nearest table to look at what i had: a hoagie roll filled with cheeseteak meat, chicken fingers, mozzerella sticks, and french fries topped with ketchup. lordy. well, i was starving so i dug in and at first i thought “ok, not bad”, but the more i ate the less impressed i got. the melange of fried food all kind of blended together, as i couldnt distinguish between slightly cold mozzarella stick and slightly cold chicken finger. and the fries were too much filler. i finished it, but it was only so so id say, which upon analysis could only make sense. i mean, for $5, and coming out of a truck, they cant be using top notch ingredients, right? jacq said her eggs were great however.
the show was at a bar called the court tavern which was fairly sized and had lots of wood paneling. the only thing i really have to say is that its always a pleasant reminder how cheap things are outside of new york ($1.50 budweisers until 10pm, where they went up to a staggering $3). the show was pretty good.
after the show, we had acquired more passengers for the ride back to brooklyn and along with those passengers, some empty stomachs. so back to the grease trucks we go…
this time around i told myself and others that i wasnt hungry but jacq coerced me into sharing something with her, so i figured this time id get my fat soprano. only i didnt want bread because that was too much food so we went with the next best thing, french fries. chicken fingers, bacon, hot sauce and white sauce on french fries. now putting things on french fries isnt an option offered on the menu, but these guys seem to be willing to accomodate almost any request seeing how their popularity is based on accomodating some dude’s request for a crazy sandwich. wrapped in foil with 2 forks stuck in it, we carried our customized fat soprano back to the car and dug in. now this was good. everything was pretty hot and the hot sauce and white sauce made for some good flavor, as did the random strips of bacon, and im pretty sure i didnt like this more just because i was drunk. everyone else enjoyed their fat sandwiches (which at certain points were being topped with ice cream), and we made it back to brooklyn full, sleepy, and happy.
so if youre ever in new brunswick, new jersey and you want to delve into local cuisine, ask where the grease trucks are or head to the nearest deli (where apparently they make the same sandwiches). while the concept of the sandwiches is pretty mindblowing, in the end you get what you get: truck food. and dont get me wrong, i love truck food (read my foodpart bio), but a lot of times these trucks and carts use the same frozen fries/chicken/etc, and you get just that: frozen french fries/chicken, etc that might have been sitting out for a while. but whatever, this is the drunk food of dreams and if i lived withint 5 miles of these things id be in the valley of the grease trucks on a regular basis.
and probably weigh 250lbs.
Thu Tran
misslisa
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