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The two best foodstuffs to come out of western PA are as follows:
The wedgie! A sandwich which uses delicious pizza crust instead of bread. I have not seen this style of sandwich outside of the Pittsburgh area and I have rarely seen it the ‘burgh itself so much as i have enjoyed its delicious taste in the outskirts. I have pictured here the lunch of my coworker, Cody, who claims that the following wedgie is possibly the best wedgie ever made: the spicy barbecue chicken wedgie with bacon, cheese, and uh i dont remember… something else too which was made at Oskies restaurant and pub in Franklin, PA. I personally prefer a steak wedgie with muenster cheese, shredded lettuce, tomato, onions, and a shitload of mayo.
The next sammie I have seen elsewhere. But nowhere all that important. It is the delish Primanti Bros sandwiches which feature french fries and coleslaw on the sandwich. Enjoy with Iron City beers.
Its worth noting that Pittsburgh puts fries and ranch dressing on everything. Including salads. Here is a pic of my sister (who is typically way diet conscious because of her natural badunkadunk bum) chowing down on a ranch and fries salad, also from Primanti Bros.
Also we are the home of chipped meats namely chipped ham. This is maybe the worst foodstuffs of PA and I never get my lunch meats chipped. “Chipped” refers to a thin slice method invented at Isaly’s (an Ohio born chain restaurant – nb) from which you get this like pile of processed meat bits. There was an Isaly’s deli and lunch counter in my hometown and it was a depressing place with cheap candy and wax lips. Tiffy Greggs’ grandma used to hang out there.
You may ask yourself why we eat such high carb food in the ‘burgh. All I have to say is please watch Flashdance. Life is exactly like that for every Pittsburgher. Every single goddam one. It requires a lot of energy you know?
Hi everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve let you know what I’ve been eating, and I’d like to take the opportunity to tell you all that I’ve been ingesting the fear and hate and raw power of wild animals that have been hunted down and murdered. It tastes great! It tastes like pure energy. Originally the term “venison” applied to all foods that were hunted down and murdered. Now it only really applies to deers. The two wild and unruly dead beast bits I’m talking about are of course deer meat and dead cobra whiskey.
First, Dead Cobra Whiskey! In that context pure energy tastes just like an old dead cobra. Remember dissecting cats or whatever in high school? Imagine if you could taste that smell and that it also is a dead cobra and it is giving you awesome powers. After the Dead Cobra Whiskey was all gone the tiny bottle was refilled so that all could enjoy at their leisure some Dead Cobra Beer!
Next, Deer Stew! My new favorite dish. Deer is delightfully low in fat, calories, and cholesterol for red meat! AND it’s hard to have just a little bit of it because deers are huge. What a wonderful meat! To season deer I like to use what are typically fish seasonings: lemon, garlic, dill, salt and pepper, and of course a healthy squirt of olive oil since there is not really any fat in it. For the stew ingredients I was like “hey why not go with some atypical ingredients since I’m dealing with an atypical and totally amazing free spirited dead champion?” So I added then some green onions, carrots (pretty typical actually but whateves), turnips, and curly kale. the garlic and dill were fresh and (especially the dill) were added generously. Crock pot it overnight if you can wait for that long and HELLO! What a tasty dish! The tasty taste of dead wilderness. It gets you high as hell on raw spirituality and freedom.
From here on I will do my damned best to eat only untamed meats. Like deer and boars and rabbits and BEARS and sharks and salmon and crabs and crawfish and tuna.
You know I’m glad this list includes more fish because lately when I cook red meat I cant help but associate the smell with periods. Powerful? Yes. Appetizing? No. I hope that wasn’t too much information.
kisses!
these are some of my favorite cubes. not surprisingly, they are edible:
(not in order of preference)
those watermelons grown as cubes
ham cubes
cheese cubes
jello cubes
ice cubes
weed cubes
sugar cubes
tofu
it is also fun to cube things that do not typically come as cubes. you can cube melon (much better than the balls) and you can cube fruits and vegetables for kebabs. cubed steak is good and you can cube mango to make it easy to eat.
i guess the moral of this story is that cubed food is the only way to go right now. its more real than you could ever imagine.
j/k these are alfalfa cubes
I was making for my friends the other day a batch of my favorite sandwich: the avocado reuben. At 7am I woke to make this damned delish treat when I realized that I could not make the Russian dressing because my ketchup had gone bad. Who’s ketchup goes bad anyways? And where to get ketchup anew at 7am? I was nearly terrified. I almost was disappointed really and truly. My lunch and the lunch of others was really on the brink here. So I set out to look at the condiments in my fridge and and spice cabinet all the while trying to prepare myself for the use of plain mayo on an otherwise devine and perfect sammy. But let me tell you my sauce turned out to be better than the original. Would I blog about a bad lunch?
Here’s what I used:
Hellmans real mayonnaise
hickory smoked BBQ Sauce! -so good
and Sriracha which added this really spicy element. such a nice compliment to the avocado
the rest of the ingredients are:
toasted rye bread
sliced avocado
saurkraut
melted swiss cheese
We all really enjoyed our lunch. For dessert I brought peeled grapefruit halves with sugar sprinkled on them. It was a really light and sweet follow up. no pics, sorry!
I beg you to make this sandwich for yourself and those close to you. You will never regret.
