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This is a little love note to all the dumpster diving, freegan, gray water using kids out there, doing their stinky shameless best to use up all of the crap businesses throw out everyday. This takes a special sort of diligence and commitment to ideals to proudly and prosperously live off of other peoples less than perfect garbage. And it takes balls to have a bake sale, and make all of the pastries out of dumpster dived food..
but it takes extra big balls to make dumpster dived pastries in the shape of cat shit, and laugh and take peoples money in exchange for them.
The recipe for these is just a chocolate no bake cookie, rolled into a log shape, and then rolled in granulated sugar. Besides being delicious , these prove that basically anything can be a turd if it’s brown and you roll it into a log shape. These were a lovely treat after a night of videos and beer, and all of the proceeds went to Odd Obsessions Video, which is an independently owned video store that operates like a co-op, being run almost entirely by volunteers, and specializing in weird, out of print , and cult favorites. Check them out today!
Late last year, Brooklyn residents noticed some “Arby’s Coming Soon” signs near Smith and Fulton in the Fulton Mall. (not jokes like the very RUDE April Fool’s Day In-n-Out prank from last week that swept NYC and left them crying for tasty burgers)
I must admit I was excited about this even though I don’t really eat fast food except for once in a great while. Well, the time has come and today is the day to try the new Arby’s. It opened in January (I believe) and is apparently very beautiful inside.
Here is a photo I stole from the innerweb of the opening:
I am not here to talk to you about the interior of the place, or the fact that when my Beef-n-Cheddar arrives it will have been en route for 25 minutes before it hits my lips. I’m here to tell you about happiness that can sometimes come in the form of food that is NOT good for you, but makes you feel good nonetheless. As I am writing this, my food is still not here. You are actually witness to my anticipation. Right now I am also starting to think I should’ve gone ahead and ordered that Jamocha shake anyways, even if it would’ve been melty by the time it got back to me: I would love to dip my curly fries in that! Everyone in the office is excited about this food adventure we are about to embark on, hopefully SOON because it’s been an hour since the girl left dammit! I wonder if I’ll even be able to take a photo of my food before devouring it. Mmmmm….cheddar.
Maybe I should try the bathroom trick! GOOD THINKING! BRB!
Ugh. That only works in the movies.
Let’s dig up some random Arby’s facts as we wait! Here’s an old commercial featuring PacMan:
And the internet diversion worked! The food has arrived!!!!
Look at her. She’s gorgeous. And she was worth the wait.
Thumbs up. Go get one!
Right before i left for Brooklyn and my ensuing duties there, I wanted to do some real fun stuff before I lost all the space I could claim as “mine” for the following months. And really what better way is there to claim a space a home than to grow edible fungus? Let me tell you folks, there isn’t one. Fuck your interior improvement and couch re-upholstering projects sir, grow some mushrooms in your house and a bottomless well spring of home-ownership with bound forth from your bosom like never before.
First i went to youtube and watched shroom videos. really good and really entertaining….
these are about growing all kinds of mushrooms…
and these are about taking magic mushrooms…
At any rate i grew some edible non-hallucinogenic mushrooms from a kit i bought off of a website called fungi perfecti which sells kits for growing a slew of edible mushrooms. I chose the bearded tooth mushroom because it yields softball sized balls of little tiny white icicles. Also i chose it because it is supposed to taste like lobster, which is so luxurious i just had to get it. This mushroom is also know as lion’s mane, but i prefer the idea of a “bearded tooth” so i am going to call it that.The kit its self is basically a bag of hardwood sawdust and wood chips that have been innouclated with spores. Exposing them to air signals to the spores it’s time to fruit. When you get the bag all you have to do is cut some holes for the mushrooms to grow through, and then mist the whole bag 2 or 3 times a day.
Here are photos of the kit and the bearded tooth’s growth over the course of 6 weeks.
This is the bag as it came to me, on top are some fruits from the mushroom, i hat to scrape these off to start the spores to fruiting again.
Here in this very fuzzy photo, you can see the spores starting to cover the interior of the bag. in a while they will begin to push out from the bag and grow these mushroom clusters.
This is after about six weeks of care, the spores aren’t very big, but you can get the idea. Also, for the purposes of eating, you have to get them while they are young to get the maximum tenderness and flavor form them. If they are left to grow big they my stop growing and start to brown on top, which is a sign they are old bitter tasting.
It was at this point that i made my first harvest.
and here it is all fried up with garlic and butter and green onion.
In conclusion, this does taste vaguely fishy, and kind of lobstery, and on the flavor front in general it is pretty amazing. On the growing stuff front this was a sucess, but was it worth 50 bucks for shipping + a kit? Maybe… given that dried Bearded Tooth mushrooms go for 8 dollars an ounce some places, it’s a pretty good return on my investment. PLUS you can use the substrate to innouclate logs or other matter like coffee grounds and keep growing mushroom as long as you have the intrest to do so. COOL!
I am an ally of ice cream. I support it in all seasons and for all occasions. A few days ago I discovered Laloo’s goats milk ice cream at my local food co-op and promptly bought a pint of Black Mission Fig. I was curious about how the earthiness of goat product (their meat has that same goaty dirtiness that the milk does) would work with the earthiness of the figs and I was left with wonderful feelings. My first bite surprised me because the fig flavor is so strong that the ice cream almost seems more like something that should exist in a small, sassy dollop and not the main event. It begins on a creamy caramel note and ends in an almost savory, goaty, mushroomy funk. It brings to mind a scene- the dead and the living feeding overripe fruits to one another on a velvet picnic blanket in an autumnal graveyard. Then the dead devouring the living and fashioning the picnic spread into a crude gown. Tawdry, unlikely, and pretty goth, but in the end it was a good time and I have gained a wealth of calories while expanding my palate to undead extremes. You should try it!
Nocturnal Yum Yum
If you need more figgy things in your life, I highly recommend this black fig soap crafted by and indie soap-making company called Savor. Find it here (they run out of it periodically, but I think it will come back):
Just a lil’ dip in the blogosphere to tell you kids about something wonderful/boring. I recently discovered a candy called Kranky at my local Mexican grocery. Simply put Kranky is so simple, so gosh darn tasty and good-natured, the language barrier is the only thing I can think of for why the name of this candy is so dumb and sounds more like a warning than an enticement.
simple... sort of tasty...
All this shit is, is chocolate covered frosted flakes!!! Genius! To be honest, it isn’t all that good, but it’s among the better of the candies/treats from the Bimbo Bakery Co. Again.. WTF Mexico? BIMBO? Honestly, if is not meant to be a joke, than someone is asleep at the wheel.
other treats from Bimbo,
Clown Pops (chocolate-covered marshmallow pops decorated with a clown’s face); Monkey Treats (chocolate-covered peanuts); Bubulubu (ghost-shaped marshmallow/strawberry-flavored pectin jelly enrobed with chocolate); and Kranky (chocolate-covered corn flakes).
You can read all about their successes here.
Say what you will these people are smart as hell.
Way to go oddly named , super basic, Mexican candy company.
